Not Just A Dumb Blonde
by usamamo
Summary: Series Finale Seiya, Usagi and Mamoru. The Starlights say their farewells and Usagi’s thoughts. One Shot. This is my very first anything fanfic or other. Please R&R.


Standard Disclaimer: Blah blah blah. I don't own Sailormoon. Just a huge obsessed fan so don't sue me please.

Summary: Series Finale Seiya, Usagi and Mamoru. The Starlights say their farewells and Usagi's thoughts. One Shot. This is my very first anything fanfic or other. Please R&R.

Not Just A Dumb Blonde

It seems that I've grown up after all these months. I certainly never meant to, my youthful exuberance is one of the qualities that Mamo-chan so loves about me. But alas, maturity is finally creeping into me at the ripe old age of 16.

So much has happened to turn my happy bubble world upside down. So many months of heartache and hard won battles have finally brought us all to this moment in our lives. I don't know if I can bounce back from the nightmare so easily this time. There is still such an ache in my heart.

The sun is setting and we are gathered on the rooftop of our school for our farewells. The Starlights and their princess are saying their goodbyes and getting ready to leave to rebuild their home world. My Mamo-chan is finally beside me after endless moons of misery. I've finally recovered him and I thought my heart would surely burst with my relief and happiness when I finally flung myself into his arms again. The familiar steel of his arms wrapping tight around me to comfort as they always do, yet there is still pain in my heart from having lost everything I cared and loved about just minutes before. I hide it pretty well so the others don't worry. I do allow myself the flow of tears since let's face it, who gets concerned over my waterworks anymore.

Everyone is relieved by the outcome of our battle but yet none of them were there until the bitter end except the Starlights. They are the only ones that would ever actually be able to see the tragedy play out in their memories like I can.

Seiya jerks me out of my solemn thoughts, "Odango! I'm glad you got your boyfriend back." He says with a soft smile.

Oh Seiya, if only I could give you back the gift you have given me with your unflagging support and faith in me. Seiya, even now, with my love beside me I ache for him. You see, as much as I pretend to everyone else, I do know how he feels about me. How could I not? He did spell it out for me. Even I can't ignore that as dense as I am!!! But appearances must be kept up. It's just easier for everyone this way and I don't want to hurt him more than I have already. Acknowledging that I really understand the intent behind all of his words would just highlight my inability to return his feelings.

So many memories flood into my heart at the look on his face. Snapshots of our time spent together. I remember him telling me that I should be happy to bump into him because he is so "cool", how he showed off his knack for all sports at school, how he held me so close at the dance club when trouble appeared during the day we spent together and made me think of Mamoru-san's warmth, how we were to show his fanclub our "love-love" power (despite the fact that I do not have an athletic bone in my body) in the upcoming softball match so we wouldn't have to "breakup" (We are not dating Baka!), how he ripped out of his seat on the plane to transform into Star Fighter to protect me, how he flung himself in front of me to save me from the enemy's blast, how he looked on stage for the Starlights concert as he looked right at me on the ferris wheel, the night he stood outside my window and promised to come to the bazaar to show his support for our class. My heart shudders as I think of the way he looked at me in the rain asking me to tell him he was good enough. My heart breaks as I remember him assuring me with aching tenderness it was ok that I did not love him in return.

The truth is that I've always known I didn't deserve his love and attention. Of all the girls in this world (most of which were in his fanclub, I might add) I probably am the only girl that cannot fall in love with him. My heart has always belonged to my Baka-san and he has filled it so completely that there just isn't room for anyone else. But I do think of Seiya, he has become one of those important people in my life. He was there for me when I was desperately in need of comfort. He always tried to help me forget my troubles with his humor and persistence in pursuing me. He fought beside me against all of our friends to defend our friendship and then against Galaxia and her minions. He always believed that we could understand each other just like I did even with everyone else trying to tear us apart. In the end I'm so glad, we were finally able to make them all understand, even Haruka-san.

How else could I tell him that even though my heart has always belonged to Mamo-chan, his attention and friendship kept me from wallowing in despair. I wanted to give up so many times in the battle with Galaxia as all of my friends lay broken in order to protect me. If Seiya had not been with me, we would have lost everything. Without him, I don't think that we would be standing here now wishing each other well in the future. Without him, we wouldn't have had this future that we are all so eagerly looking forward to.

I look up to shyly tell him part of my thoughts. "I couldn't have done it without you beside me Seiya. You kept me from giving up."

I watch as the blush crept up his face, then he looks at me and vows, "I'll never forget you Odango." I jauntily tell him, "Yes, we'll be friends forever!" Taiki-san and Yaten-san erupt into laughter, holding their bellies to keep from falling over, even Princess Kakyuu! Seiya's face is almost crimson from all the ribbing he takes.

There was nothing else I could say. I had to let everyone think I misunderstood and take the abuse. If I were to show everyone my new found intuitiveness, there would be too many secrets I would have to share. How scandalized would Raye be if she realized the thoughts swirling through my mind right now?

The rooftop rang out with all of our laughter.

As the Starlights turn to walk to the edge of the railing, Seiya stops and turns, "Mamoru-san" he calls, we both look up. "You have to protect her now." He adds seriously. Then as if the emotions were too much even for him, he adds with his trademark cocky humor, "You know, from one guy to another." Mamo-chan replies without an ounce of jealousy but in a tone filled with something akin to relief, gratitude and respect, "I will." Oh my man of few words, I guess I really do talk enough for the both of us!

As Seiya turns to stand beside his princess, they transform to the beautiful Maker, Fighter and Healer. We exchange our final well wishes and they take off in a beautiful steam of light and streak across the sky. My heart is filled with happiness for all our futures. The inner senshi, Mamoru-san and I all look up to see the trail of lights they leave behind as I whisper his name almost in prayer, "Seiya."

Mamo-chan and I are finally alone in the park. My heart is racing at the familiar feel of him walking beside me. I have so much to say to him, so much that I want to catch him up on. I want to tell him everything that I've done since we said our goodbyes at the airport. I want to tell him everything about all of my days spent without him, from the ordinary and mundane to the dangerous events that interrupted my misery. I want to tell him of my weakness without him by my side as much as I want him to think me brave and strong. I think of the days and nights that I ached for his voice and face and then I look at the beautiful ring that he had placed on my finger. It seems like it a lifetime ago. I do not want to burst out all of my childish yearnings but I couldn't help but ask for what I needed most in the world right now. I cling desperately to his arm and look up at him with my heart in my eyes, "Mamo-chan, do you love me?" my question burst out in the silence of the night. He looks at me gently and responds with much conviction, "Hai." I began to feel the stirrings of my heart as the cracks began to close. "Like how?" I press on in earnest. I hear the stern voice of my new found maturity advising me not to push the guy after all that he has just been through. I childishly ignored it and plowed onward anyway, my eyes beseeching him to give me more to subside the longing in my heart. He looks down at me clutching to his arm like a woman drowning and asks in surprise, "Ano…why all this so suddenly?" Raye must be right, Baka-san doesn't really have a clue how a girl feels sometimes. Even as the fierce blush I couldn't hide in the night colored my cheeks, I continued with my heart's pursuit for the words I know he will eventually give me, "Ne!" I whine, "Like how?" I ask again feeling the warmth in my cheeks would surely set my head on fire if this stubborn Baka doesn't just answer the question. He chuckles and says solemnly with his beautiful midnight blue eyes on mine, "When I'm with you, I'm truly happy." I stand there basking in the glow of his sweet avowals of love. I tilt my head up and feel him draw nearer as his lips touch mine light as a feather first brushing one way then another. I sigh as his hands tighten on my shoulders and he deepens the kiss. The remaining cracks of my heart seal together and I'm finally whole again, finally in the embrace of my heart's only love and true desire. Mamo-chan and I are finally back where we belong.

Fin


End file.
